


Chaos in Coccham

by oddsnends



Category: The Last Kingdom (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Fun Uncle, Modern Era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-01
Updated: 2020-10-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:20:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23947585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oddsnends/pseuds/oddsnends
Relationships: Finan (The Last Kingdom)/Reader
Kudos: 20





	1. Chapter 1

Chaos.

Absolute and pure chaos! 

The house was upside down and barely hanging on. Toys scattered all over the living room, a sock in the dishwasher, and was that a bucket of sand in the fridge? Uhtred had been gone for the weekend, Friday to Sunday. 

Looking at the clock, you rub your hands over your face and sigh. Uhtred would be home before dinner, surely. When he'd left he had made it clear – behave! 

Perhaps that had been a warning to the babysitter. Finan loved his surrogate nephews and niece, in return they loved him. What child wouldn't? Uncle Finan was a giant, bearded, kid himself. Your last straw was finding the sticky note on the fridge, claiming that one of the children had thrown up. Finan had insisted he cleaned the kid, the mess, and thanked his time in college for the help. 

Had he been drunk?

Through the window in the kitchen, you hear the commotion. Yelling, laughter, and what sounds like something being hit. A brief glance from the window gives you a view of Finan, surrounded by children. A ball of some sort in his hand, he is gearing up to throw it at Osbert, the youngest of Uhtred's children. 

Swinging with all his might, the boy closes his eyes, and the others cheer when the make shift ball hits the bat. A loud splat sends bits of obliterated apple soaring through the air. Apple lands everywhere. On the side of the house, the ground, even Osbert. Who, despite the mess he is in, cheers loudly and does a victory lap around the others. 

“I told you.” Finan shouts with glee. “I told you that you could do it. See!” 

A chorus of “great job!” and “Way to go Os!” follows Finan. 

“Alright, little man, are you ready?” Finan shouts and points at a forth child. 

Before any more apples can be thrown, you step through the screen door. Everybody wrapped up in their game, nobody took the time to notice you looming. 

“Finan.” Your voice rings through the yard. 

Heads snap and Osbert even gasps. As if they had saw a ghost or another sort of daunting monster, the gang freezes. 

“My love, my heart. What a lovely surprise.” Finan is grinning like a mad man. A bushel of rotting apples by his feet. His beard covered in bits of apple, his shirt muddy, and his jeans grass stained. He looks as rough as the children around him. 

Shaking your head, you roll your eyes. “You're in trouble, Mister.”

“Oohh!” the children mocked, giggling and laughing at their babysitter. 

“My love, my heart. Trouble? We're only having a bit of fun.” He tries his best to woo you with his cheeky grin and those big brown eyes. 

Ignoring him, you set your sights on his accomplices. “Kids, you all know better than to let Finan run wild.” 

“Run wild? I did no such thing.” The Irishman defends his actions. 

Ignoring his plight the best you can, you try your best to steady your mood. This was a disaster. Finan meant well, he adored the kids, but sometimes he got a little out of hand. Taking the drunk favourite uncle to a whole new level. When Uhtred had asked his best friend to watch his children, he knew what he was getting into. 

“Athelstan, what are you doing here?” Your gaze falls upon the dark haired boy, mud and apple all over him. 

“I wanted to come play.” 

“Do his parents know he's here?” You look at Finan, hoping he had at least mentioned taking the boy to somebody in his family. 

“No clue, but his grandmother knows. She brought him over.” Finan's smile is wide, as he ruffles his little shadow's hair. 

“Do you want to play?” Uhtred, the younger version, asks holding out the bat. 

Scowling at the teenager, you huff. “No, I don't want to play. What I want is everybody inside and cleaning. Your father is going to be murderous, when he comes home to this.” 

Sulking and grumbling, Finan's miniature terror brigade slowly move to your will. Had you made it a game, like Finan, they would have gladly got on board doing whatever you asked. Unfortunate for them, this was business that needed dealt with. If you'd left it to Finan, it would never be completed and Uhtred would never speak to either of you again. 

Inside the mood was somber, children filing in, and Finan following you like a lost puppy. He would have gotten around to cleaning, eventually. In his defense, Uhtred had lived in worse. Most of their college years were spent living in absolute chaos and disarray. To think of it, Finan couldn't remember either of them ever cleaning. Perhaps that was the reason Sihtric had always kept his door locked and refused to grant them entrance to his room. 

“Uhtred is going to kill you,” Hands on your hips, shaking your head at the destruction. At home, Finan would never allow this to happen. If he did you would be gone and he would be left to pick up more than a mess. 

“We'll have it all cleaned up before then.” Finan winks and plants a kiss on your cheek. “Come on gang, time to get dirty.” 

“But we were having fun,” Stiorra whines pouting and using her best attempt at puppy dog eyes. It was her no fail, fool proof way of getting whatever she wanted. 

“Oh, well, I suppose...” Finan smiled softly at his favourite – not that he would tell the others. 

“Finan.” You gently cuff the back of his head. “No wonder this place it a wreck. Did you let them play you like that all weekend?” 

Finan gently rubbed the back of his head, frowning. “Not all weekend.” 

Unbelievable! 

Finan was useless when it came to authority with children. 

He was kind with a good heart, fun, and trusting. However he had no control over the younger beings, when they wanted something, he was easily played and every kid who met him somehow sensed that. Fun Uncle Finan was his claim and he adored the title, it meant more to him than anything else. Yes, he could allow the children to get unruly. Yes, he could do better with being the boss. He could even feed them a vegetable or two now and then, but what did any of that matter? 

At the end of the day they were alive. Happy. Fed. And couldn't wait to start all over again in the morning. These were the things that made memories. Memories of a happy home and childhood were the things that dictated success. Providing a happy childhood, with their favourite drunk uncle, was worth more than gold to Finan. 

House somewhat cleaner than when you'd arrived, dinner on the table, and kids cleaned all in three hours – it was something short of a miracle. Finan finished sweeping up the living room, while you wrangled children to the table. This time there wasn't a piece of pizza, chip, or candy insight. No complaints, either, which greatly amused Finan. 

If he'd tried to feed them salad, they would have revolted. Staged a coup and hung him by his underwear. 

“Well done my love, my heart.” Finan praises, stashing the broom and dust pan. 

“See what being a mindful leader gets you,” You wink and turn to give him a well deserved kiss on the cheek. “You can take control, the kids will still love you.” 

“Tell me about it, I love you every day. Despite having my bal-” Wisely he shuts his mouth, when he receives your glare. “I will do better, next time.” 

“When this is done, I am taking Athelstan home. Finan, please do the dishes and get the kids in bed before it's too late.” 

Armed with your instructions, Finan salutes. “Yes ma'am.” 

Dinner finished, it's up to the kids to load the dishwasher and get cleaned up. Allowing Finan to flex his authority skills. Gathering the grubby Athelstan, you listen to Finan as he tries to be demanding. The Irishman really doesn't have it in him to be tough, not with three of his favourite young humans at least. 

He'll learn. In time. 

You had been telling yourself that for a few years. It was never going to happen. Those children had him right where they wanted him, the only other person they could overpower and outwit that easily was Osferth and he was growing wise to their wicked ways. 

Shouting goodbye, you usher Athelstan out the front door. His parents likely have no clue he is missing, his grandmother would have told Finan to let her know when he needed to come home, which would have been forgotten in the chaos and fun. 

Chaos and Fun were only two of Finan's greatest qualities. Despite how they drove you mad. 

“What do we have here?” Uhtred's voice startles you, the car door shutting with a thud. Taking a look over the messy child, he folds his arms and waits. 

“Uhtred,” You greet him with a faint smile, speaking loudly in hopes Finan and the children will hear you through the window. 

“How bad is it?” Uhtred sighs. He had no illusions about how big of a mess Finan and his children would make. Seeing you was the indication that there was some hope. 

“Not as bad as it was.” You shrug, instructing Athelstan to get in the backseat of your car. “They're just finishing dinner.”

“Alright, well, I should go in and see them. Are you going to wait for Finan?” 

“Actually, that is a great idea. Tell him to hurry, I won't wait long.” 

Waiting for Finan, you smile at Athelstan in the back seat. He looks like he's been lost in the woods for a week, wandering through mud and muck, as if he'd never met a bath before. Thankful that you were the one who didn't have to clean him. 

Looking through the windshield, you frown at the sight of Finan dragging himself from the house. Overnight bag in hand, he had a pout and his eyes are downcast as he walks. His upbeat, eager demeanor is dampened. No doubt Uhtred had given him a quick once over about the responsible adult – again. 

“What's wrong?” Your immediate instinct is to ask when he opened the car door. 

Finan's brow is creased and his eyes sad. 

“I wasn't ready to say goodbye.” Finan let the door shut behind him, sighing heavily. “But that is fine, Uhtred asked if I can come over Wednesday, when he works late.”


	2. Conquering Candy

“Children, with me!” Finan held up his plastic sword. Marching forward down the street. 

The man was insane, yet here you were, going along with whatever insanity he drug you all into. All in good fun of course. Finan had volunteered to take his favourite small humans trick or treating. He had but one rule – matching costumes. 

Finan lived for a good theme costume. Whether it was Halloween or a random Tuesday night around the dinner table. More than once he had convinced the children, and a few adults, to wear costumes on a random week night gathering. He was truly the life of the party and you loved him dearly for it, despite it driving you mad at times. 

This year's theme was Conquering Danes. 

Sihtric had been geared up to don his best Dane costume, insisting that he knew more than Finan about what Danes wore to battle in 895, which made it a crushing defeat when he came down with the flu. As a last minute replacement, you were shoved into a black feaux leather ensemble and sent out the door. This was not how you had pictured your Halloween. At the same time, it didn't hurt Finan to have a voice of reason along for the ride. 

“He's nuts,” Osferth shook his head, herding small children along. 

Osfterth had agreed to tag along, although he was level headed and had far more sense than Finan, he was just as bad when it came to having fun. The two men would run wild, dragging the children along, had you not been sent to keep them in line, as if Sihtric would have been more help. Walking down the street, a few blocks from Uhtred's home you held tightly to Aelfwynn's hand. 

A few feet behind you and his niece, Osferth walked along keeping Osbert and his nephew Aethelstan with the group. The two little boys were easily distracted by the chaos of Halloween. With Finan at the front, young Uhtred, Stiorra, and her “he's a boy and a friend, not my boyfriend” Sigtryggr trudged along. Since Danes raided far and wide, Uhtred had decided to go with an English monk robe. 

Not wanting Uhtred to be the only one fighting against the invading Danes, Osferth had found a matching monk costume. They looked more like two dudes in night shirts than monks. Whatever you admired their commitment and questioned their sanity, when they came downstairs with their hair cut to fit the costume. Whatever happened to wigs?

“Three more houses and then we start back,” You and Aelfwynn jog ahead to catch up with the bigger kids and the biggest kid of all, Finan. 

“What? Only three?” Finan pouts. “My love, my heart. It's Halloween, don't deprive the children of the sweet, sweet rewards that they're about to gain.” 

“It's Halloween, but some of these children have curfew.” You shake your head, holding onto the sword tied to your side. For plastic, it's heavy enough. “And some of these children are already missing their bedtime.” You glance back at Osferth and the two boys. 

“Baby Monk is fine, he will sleep in tomorrow.” Finan laughs, swinging his sword expertly. 

When or how he learned sword skills, you weren't sure, nor did you want to ask. 

“I'm not talking about Osferth, you moron.” You sigh and smack his arm. 

“Oh, she's getting rough.” Finan laughs and winks at you. Only to get another smack. 

“Finan, there are children.” Hissing at him, your cheeks grow hot. 

“What? It's not like they even know what I am talking about.” He shakes his head, rubbing his hand over his beard. 

“Uh, I happen to know full well where babies comes from.” Uhtred pipes up, earning a laugh from Stiorra and Sigtryggr. 

“You shush.” You warn the teenager, scowling at him playfully. 

“Can we do more? Please,” Stiorra bats her eye lashes at you. It may work for Finan, but it won't work for you. No way. No how. 

“Three.” You firmly state. It's not as if this is the end, they still have the whole other side of the street to do. 

“My love, my heart,” Finan hangs back, wrapping his arm around you. Kissing your cheek, he smiles sweetly. “What is a few more houses? Let them have their night of fun, then we can head back. Once we're at Uhtred's and the children are all safe...” 

“Finan, I know what you are trying to do. And it's not working.” 

“Worth a try.” He winks. 

The looks you were giving him, if they could kill he would likely be a dead man right now. He suggested that he take you home and have a cuddle. Not put the children to bed and run naked through the streets, while egging houses. 

“What if we take a vote?” Uhtred asked, his curls bouncing as he walks. 

“A vote? So you can all side with Finan?” 

“It's only fair.” Finan adds, his cheeky grin nearly killing you. 

“Fine!” You stop walking, nearly causing Aelfwynn to topple over. 

Behind you, Osferth and the two boys stop quickly before crashing into the group ahead of them. 

“Why are we stopping?” Osbert scowls. He was thisss close to more candy. 

“We are having a vote.” Uhtred announces. Explaining the situation, he asks for those who want to stick to the original plan to raise their hand. Osferth, of course, and yourself. Well. “Now, raise your hand if you want to add more houses to the original plan?” 

A landslide, minus Finan? Interesting. As the children revel in their victory, Finan holds up a hand to silence them. 

“That's fair, I admit. But, I think we make it fair. If we add more houses now, when we get back it's straight to bed for everybody.” He watches the faces around him fall. “However, if we stick to the original plan of trick or treating, when we get back we can sort our plunder, then I will agree to watch one movie.” 

“You can't change the rules.” Aethelstan huffs. 

“Aye, but I can little man. I'm the adult here.” 

You and Osferth both snort at that admission. He's an adult and you were a Princess, stolen from your lands, where your father a rich king was offering a handsome ransom for your safe return. 

“So what is it? More houses or home to more fun?” 

The looks on their young faces were equivalent to sad puppies. One could swear that Finan had just announced there would be no candy, period. 

Mulling it over, Stiorra glances to Uhtred. Allowing her brother to work his way out of this one for them. 

“The fun doesn't have to end.” Uhtred smirked, his father's name not the only thing he inherited. 

“I agree, so what is it?” Finan made eye contact with each child. 

“Fine, we'll stick to the plan. Then go home.” Stiorra spoke. “But we get to pick the movie!” 

“Nothing too scary,” Osferth cautions. “Remember, we do have little ones.” 

“And Finan,” You giggle. “The last time you guys let him watch scary movies, I was awake with him for weeks.”


End file.
